


If I stared too long I'd probably break down and cry.

by CharlieDC



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, GMA interview, Good Morning America, Larry Stylinson Is Real, M/M, babygate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2015-08-05
Packaged: 2018-04-13 04:29:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4507827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharlieDC/pseuds/CharlieDC
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Larry after the GMA interview. Based on fan-interpretations of Babygate and why the hell this was confirmed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I stared too long I'd probably break down and cry.

**Author's Note:**

> ~~  
> !!!!  
> Open links in a new tab, AO3 won't do it for you.

**[Sweet Child O' Mine - Miche Braden](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJ3BAF_15yQ) **

 

“Well, I’m not doing it without you.”

Harry said it with finality. He said it with that forcefulness that he uses to coax people to getting what he wants. When he’s stubborn and determined and so sure of his desires. He shifted, foot to foot, staring at Louis who was situated on the bed. He was tangled in sheets, his right foot tucked under himself and his left dangling off the side. Harry was in boxers, blue or purple or some deep color; Louis didn’t know. The room was too dark to know. It was around four, only the New York moonlight shining upon them.

Harry was standing in front of Louis, by the bathroom door. Half his body was cast in the dark shadows the rays of moonlight couldn’t reach. The phone call they had earlier that night with the management team only solidified what the meeting they had days before meant; he could come out. Louis, however, was caught up in the threatening webs of a poorly-managed stunt and therefore, _couldn’t_ come out.

He’s going to be a father, after all.

They both rubbed their eyes at the same time; mimicking not short of their relationship. They were up talking about it because they couldn’t sleep and after today (what with the shit excuse for an interview and all) they knew that talking about it _now_ was the right time. They prolonged it enough, and now Harry was up and he was pacing and decided that, no, he is not doing this without Louis.

Without _his_ Louis. _His boyfriend._ One could even argue fianceé, but not with a baby on the way.

“Harry-”

“No. I told you before and I’ll say it again and again until they,” he gestured to his phone, on the nightstand charging, “fucking let us be who we are.”

Louis looked up at him, his head slightly tilted. His mouth was in a straight line and he had his doe-eyes in a concerned and fond fixation on Harry.

“You know… I’ve always loved that about you…” He said with a small sigh. Harry looked at him, confused, and Louis went on, “Determination. You’re so fucking determined.” He smiled, Harry smiled.

“Never backed down from what you believed in. You never took two steps without the people you love at least taking one with you; phenomenal. It scared me a bit, when we first got together… five fuckin’ years ago…” He sighed.

“But you never changed that about yourself. That always stuck with you. Even though those gorgeous curls are gone,” Harry’s smile grew a bit wider, “you’re still the lovable dork I fell for and this is why you need to do this for yourself.”

Harry’s smile dropped.

“Louis-”

“Harry, listen to me… _please.”_ Strained, Harry noted. His voice was strained, “We haven’t had the opportunity for this, neither of us. If you come out and do this then it’s one step closer to the truth. It’s one leap of faith we can take and you can do it for the both of us. If you come out, if you do this, then maybe we can mull over this whole baby nonsense and I can eventually get a foot or summat out that goddamn metaphorical closet door.”

“ _I can’t._ I don’t have that opportunity. I am barely able to hold a smile together for a fuckin’ interview. Every day since we had that meeting with Modest I have been hoping they’d call and tell me to deny these rumors.” He was standing up now, facing Harry, “To deny them and tell everyone the truth and finally not lie to the entire fucking world about who I am!”

He was shouting. He was probably going to wake Liam or Niall up but, honestly, he didn’t give two shits at the moment. Not even one shit. Zero. Nada. He just wants to be able to finally express his feelings about what the fuck has been going on in the past few months, rather than locking it up.

He let’s Harry hug him; wrap his giant giraffe arms around him and hold him in place. Keep him stationary in their ever-moving life. His arms suspended them in time, keeping him in place for this small moment shared together. Louis resonated in the feeling of Harry’s breath in his hair; the small air passing over him was what made their hugs so special to him. It was Harry’s slow breaths keeping him there; his arms around him and the smooth rub on his back. Mostly, Harry himself was enough to just keep Louis stalled enough to just stare at him.

“If you do this; you do it for the both of us. Cause’ you coming out is a little bit closer to management getting their heads out their arses and letting me follow suit in a few years, if not sooner.”

He looked Harry in his eyes. From his position, he could see the green from the bit of moonlight that shone. Harry’s eyes welled up a bit, and Louis brought his hands up; his palms on his jawline and his fingers fanned over Harry’s cheeks. Louis smiled up at him, not even trying to contain the tears forming in his own eyes.

“I won’t do it-”

“-Harry-”

“Because _I can’t do it without you._ ”

Tears were shed and cascaded down cheeks, their individual sobs morphed into a joint one. The emotion in the room was overwhelming and they held each other, clinging and crying and silently sobbing. Louis guided them back to the bed to lay down; clinging onto Harry.

Harry wrapped an arm around Louis as he fit into his side, curling up into a ball. The tears subsided and heavy breathing was the only sound in the room. Harry absentmindedly ran his hand up and down Louis’ ink-free left arm.

“I want you to do this.” Louis said after a few minutes as their breathing evened out. “But me wanting you to do something does not make it the final decision. Have your own mind. Do what you feel is best and most comfortable for you. I just think, in the long run, it would benefit both of us.”

“I see. I understand.” Harry kissed Louis’ head. “I just can’t… I can’t decide that right now.”

A moment passed and Louis noticed Harry steadying his breaths. 

“It’s a _big_ decision… I need more time than a few days. You know me; I take my time with big decisions-”

 “-I of all people do know this is true-”

“- _and_.” Harry lightly slapped Louis’ arm, receiving a giggle, “and I can’t just up and tell management that I want to make a huge fucking decision in a matter of days. This can affect my entire career, your career; the whole band’s career… I can’t put that on them.”

“That’s just what management has brainwashed you to believe - you know that. This in no way affects Niall or Liam. At most, it’d affect me because we’re _actually dating_. But, as you know, they don’t know that and probably won’t for another year or two or five.”

Louis grumbled and Harry just rubbed his arm soothingly (as per usual when Louis grumbles). Louis kissed Harry’s neck and tucked himself there, right in the crook. Inhaling Harry’s sent, that fancy vegan shampoo and body salt scrub he uses, made Louis smile. Harry was always so adamant about the fancy body care products ever since he could afford heaps of it. There was still that classic 16-year-old-Harry smell that’s never gone away.

It was a musk. That Harry Styles musk that developed right at the height of his puberty that Louis was there to notice. He remembers the differences from Harry-then to Harry-now. Scrawny, lanky and excitable Harry Styles (not to mention a hell of a lot shorter) compared to built, fit, “I know how to seduce people with a drop in my voice” Harry Styles. Louis loves that always-constant Harry scent. Louis could recognize that smell from a mile away and would run to that smell. Would run as fast as he could and wrap his arms around it and kiss it. The smell of ambition and curiosity and love. Tenderness and concern and hyper-awareness that Louis’ always loved.

If Harry was a candle, he would be all those things and more. Louis would buy every Harry candle and keep them all to himself. Louis smiled into the side of Harry’s neck, his breath warm and happy.

“If I do this, though, they can finally find out about everything that’s been going on in the past.” Harry, with that touch of hopefulness in his voice, spoke to the small darkness of their room.

“Not everything.” Louis laughed, “Hopefully not everything.”

“Cheeky.” Harry nudged Louis, and when their faces were directly opposite, Harry kissed him.

Sighing happily, Louis pecked Harry and smiled.

“Think about it.”

“Alright.”

Another kiss, and that was it. They pulled the covers up, slept for five hours and woke up to Niall loudly singing their new single in the main hotel room.

 

~


End file.
